When I'm Governor, Basketball Will Be Essential

April 30th, 2020

Well, we've just passed the fifth week of our suspended Winter 2020 season. (Remember, we wouldn't have had games on Easter Sunday, April 12th.) It sucks, but there are good signs on the horizon. While the Governor extended the lockdown for another two weeks, they are going to allow some "non-essential" businesses to open next week. I'm wondering who gets to decide which businesses are essential and which ones aren't. For example, I believe that I could make a very convincing argument that fitness centers are essential. The physical and mental health of many people can be directly linked to regular exercise. Before the lockdown, the workers at the gym that I go to (yes, I go to a gym) were being very conscientious about keeping the place clean and sanitized. I was especially happy that they were making sure that the handful of jackasses who don't wipe down their machines on a regular basis did so. It was working fine until your Mayor and then your Governor (who probably both have private trainers) decided to shut them down.

Yeah, they closed down fitness centers but left liquor stores open. Shrewd.

Anyway, I've been in contact with the venue. They have been using the downtime to spruce the already-magnificent facility up even more. The head guy tells me that the floors have never been better. We hope to test that out soon.

It's funny (in an un-funny, Season 9 of "The Office" kinda' way). This one guy keeps emailing me, demanding a refund. At first, I tried to respond by email, but his email address came up as Undeliverable. I finally figured out who it was and contacted him by text. He was rather rude and said that the "whole thing is B.S." (like the TBL is the only activity in America that has been shut down). I told him to have his team captain contact me and I'd give the team a pro-rated refund and their team would be out of the league. He said, "No, I just want MY refund!" 

I said, "So, you want your money back, but the team gets to keep playing? Do you see a flaw in that logic?" He didn't respond.

Obviously, this is new to all of us. I have contacted a few teams and they've all been really cool about it. They can't wait to get back at it.


Last week, I asked you to name the four NBA players who have had a quadruple-double in their careers. The correct answers are David Robinson, Hakeem Olajuwon (twice), old-school Nate Thurmond, and Alvin Roberston. The first three (all post players) did the trick with double figures in points, rebounds, assists, and blocked shots. Robertson did it with points, boards, assists, and steals.

This one will be fun...IF YOU DON'T CHEAT!!!!!!!!!!!! I realize that the answers to these are right at the tip of your fingers (on your phone), but challenge yourself before looking up the answers. When the NBA season was suspended (dumb-ass Rudy Gobert!), James Harden was leading the league in scoring. Who was second? I'll give you a hint: It is NOT Giannis Antetokounmpo, who is tied for third with Trae Young. Yeah, try spelling the Greek Freak's name from memory. That "nmp" part is a killer.

This one is even more fun: See if you can name three of the top five rebounders in the league. There is only one big name among the five (well, maybe two) and No. 5 is a major surprise. Numbers 6, 7, and 8 are Jonas Valanciunas, Nikola Vucevic, and Bam Adebayo, respectively.

Who leads the league in assists?

Devin Booker of Phoenix is the 10th leading scorer in the league, but another member of the Phoenix Suns is in the Top 5 of another category. Who is it and what category is it?

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