The Water Bottle Policy Strikes Twice

October 17th, 2023

On Sunday, nearly half of the games played were decided by five points or less. That's pretty cool. But we did also have a few blowouts, which I don't like. Somebody had better do a better job of scheduling. While we had five one-point games and another three that were decided by two points, we also had a very strange thing happen. Eight games were decided by exactly four points. Only one game was decided by a three-point margin and two by five, but EIGHT by four! Weird.

It is my solemn duty to announce that two teams will each be paying $10.00 (cash) before they set foot on the court again. One team had an idiot leave behind a half-drunk (that's proper grammar for any of you who went to a charter school) can of some energy drink. First of all, if you're going to waste your money on an "energy" drink, why not drink it all? Wait, even before that, you're going to play a basketball game. Why do you need extra energy? Isn't the excitement of getting to play a game enough to get you through? Third, why leave it behind. Dispose of it, you lazy B-word. I have informed that team that they owe $10.00 to the Sports Venue Labor Force Christmas Fund, payable before their next game.

Another team that played an 8:00 p.m. game left behind a bunch of empty water bottles, like they ain't got no mamas. They will also have to pay. I'm not going to publicly name the teams this season, but next season I will. And, if a team is a repeat offender, the second time it will be $20.00...then $40.00, and so on. 

We're well past the halfway point of the regular season and the stat leaders are starting to take shape. Magic Galindo of Heat Check is running away with the scoring title, averaging over 35 points a game. PASS THE BALL, DAWG! Stefano Natalie of Hemoglobin Trotters is the leading rebounder (so far) and the ageless Donte Williams is leading in free throws.

Damu Musgrave is poised to repeat as the three-point champion. Actually, I just said that to drive Cesar Fierro and all of the other haters crazy. So far, the leading three-point shooter is Brandon Hernandez of Gila Monsters. We still have more than a month to go. Things could change. And remember, you have to have played a minimum number of games to qualify in each category.

Please remember to clean up after yourselves and your teammates. We want the people who run the venue to think that of all the clubs, leagues, teams, and individuals who use the place, we're their favorites. Thanks.